Joel on Film

It would seem pretty easy to get a movie like Pretty Lethal right, for here are some theoretically entertaining elements that might have come together into something worthwhile. The idea here is that a gaggle of Hungarian goons, who work for a ruthless gangster but are currently doing business in the bar owned by his ice-cold turf rival, are tasked with eliminating a group of young American women who chose a very bad day on which to seek some shelter and maybe a phone. The gimmick of Kate Freund’s screenplay is that the young women in question are ballerinas at the height of their talent, skill and physical prowess.

A movie, though, needs to be more than its concept, and that’s where Freund and director Vicky Jewson somehow fall short again and again. The concept is solid, and so, for that matter, is the de facto protagonist and leader of the ballet troupe, a girl who simply goes by “Bones” and is played with convincing conviction by Maddie Ziegler (herself a classically trained dancer, as those knowledgeable about her pre-movie career on a reality television show and in a series of popular music videos by a specific artist will remember). She’s tough-minded and resourceful and, basically, everything that most of the other girls are not.

The one exception to that rule is Chloe (Millicent Simmonds), who is deaf and likable and maybe a little naïve about the interest of a cute boy clearly acting as a distraction and a tease. Even she, though, is done dirty by a screenplay that separates the character from the action—as well as the bit of sudden, callous violence that starts that action—until just before the big, confrontation-heavy climax. Otherwise, though, we have Lana Condor as Princess (who is wholly unlikeable and unbelievably dumb), Avantika as Grace (who spends the majority of her screen time enduring, then recovering from, an acid trip) and Iris Apatow as Zoe (who is Chloe’s sister and receives no other defining characteristics, to include a personality).

The quintet, as well as teacher and chaperone Miss Thorna (Lydia Leonard), are on their way to perform in a big, prestigious event when their bus breaks down, with no prospect for help or a venue that will wait for them. The bar is owned by Devora (Uma Thurman, adopting a thick accent more or less credibly), who is having trouble with that rival gangster Pasha (Tamás Szabó Sipos)—especially when he shoots Thorna in the back of the head and kills her, splattering her brains all over Devora’s carefully polished establishment. Devora, by the way, was once a dancer herself—a fact that is either the wildest coincidence in the history of the world or, perhaps, intentional on her part in ways the movie never explores.

Anyway, Devora orders the girls into the basement to figure out what to do with them. What follows is about what one expects of the movie described in the opening paragraph. These ballerinas are quite capable, and the poor henchmen suffer for it.

As far as the choreography of the action goes, here is where Jewson and the film’s stunt coordinator(s) flourish, incorporating literal balletic movements into the girls’ impromptu fighting style. This means slashed throats, rather than gunshots, are the movie’s wound of choice, but it also means that this gimmick gets old pretty quickly. Jewson even seems to recognize this by the time the movie gets to a big final action scene that robs us of a certain type of interaction (being more specific than this would constitute a pretty inappropriate “spoiler”).

In other words, once we get past the concept of Pretty Lethal, it reveals itself to be an utterly hollow, consistently disappointing experience, except for the few times, early on, when we get to see some unassuming ballerinas lay waste to some gangster goons. Failing even to keep apace with that idea is not exactly something to which to aspire.

Rating: *½ (out of ****)